(An open letter to Quake players on our server, out of a combined sense of annoyance at the ill-behaved and duty to the ill-informed, which few will read, but which it feels good to write anyway. Please ignore any grumpiness not specifically directed your way. Thank you.)
Many is the time that an opposing player has typed, after explosive bodily rearrangement at the hands of a Clan 9 member, "only because of your %@#!$ fast connection", or some tiresome variant thereof. The organic shrapnel become especially vocal if they happen to be playing with us on the Mothership. In the latter case, we have a suggestion: go somewhere else. Simple, really. However, if you don't understand why some servers work better for you than others... if you wonder who we think we are to make such a suggestion... or if you're just pissed off at us Low Ping Bastards, then read on. Perhaps you'll learn something helpful if you're a Quake newbie. Perhaps you'll see things from our point of view, a little. Or perhaps you'll just remain pissed off, which is OK by us. Makes you more fun to gib.
The C9 Mothership is our Quake server. We set it up because we wanted a Quake server configured the way we like, for us to play on. We play Quake on machines in the building where we work. Unsurprisingly, our server is in this same building. We don't play exclusively on the Mothership, but when we do play there, we are going to have very good ping times (usually around 60). We are not "on the server", as we often hear from the recently fragged, but yes indeed we are darn close to it. Although we are going through the TCP/IP stack like any other internet player, we are only 3 network hops away.
Our server is open to other players outside our clan; we don't use it all the time, and we welcome fresh blood when we are playing there. But if our server makes you suck, go play on another one. If you like the server, but you don't want to compete with us when we play, then don't play on it when we are playing. You can stay and whine about "cheaters", but while you're typing your sob stories, we're killing you. Twice. If you can't find any server worth playing on, why are you playing at all? If you can find a better server, why aren't you playing there instead of here? In case you genuinely don't know, good utility programs exist to help you find the server that will give you the best ping.
People will argue about the exact numbers, but basically, if you're in the low 200's or less, with practice you should be able to do some grade-A killing (although you'll still be playing at some handicap until you get down into the low 100's). If your ping on a particular server is higher than that and you don't want to deal with the consequences, vamoose to greener pastures. If you have a hard time finding a good server, you might want to check out some of the tips at Lag City; while they have a different perspective on some things than we do :-), they enumerate several things you can try to shave milliseconds off of your ping.
On the other hand, if you have a reasonable ping but you're still getting creamed, then worry about things like tactics, familiarity with your controls, learning the levels, and practice time in general before you start worrying about a 50-100 ms difference of ping. Seriously. A good connection doesn't help you map out the level in your head. It doesn't tell you when to go pick up the quad. It doesn't warn you which players to run from and which players to unconditionally attack. It doesn't help you remember to go get health or armor when you're low. And it definitely won't help you when you attack a quad-rocketing invulnerable player with your single-barrel shotgun. (We only wish this were exaggeration.)
Of course, if you have a bad connection, you can do your kamikaze run and then complain about how the player who just turned you into paste is a "T1 cheater". It's an odd way to get satisfaction out of a game, though.
QuakeWorld seems to have the potential to make things better, although the jury is still out on exactly how much better. But if you are an average-to-good modem player up against a good player with a fat Internet pipe who knows the level, You Are Going To Lose. And guess what. We have a great connection, and we know the levels, especially on the Mothership. And most of us are pretty good. :-) We generally respect modem players, with that special respect reserved for the slightly insane, but nothing will mark you for rocket-fueled death faster than whining about how unfair it is that we are playing on the server that we created for us to play on.
If you have to spontaneously rail against your slow connection occasionally, that's cool. Just remember it's not our fault. In turn, we recognize that it's not our own personal wonderfulness that has gifted us with good connections. Although we may stray from this standard when provoked, we generally try to take the "Bastard" out of "Low Ping Bastard". It warms our nine-chambered alien hearts when our connection-handicapped foes also take the "Whiner" out of "High Ping Whiner".
If you sincerely want to go toe-to-toe with Clan 9 members on some other server, because it has different levels, or a better ping for you, or whatever, that's also cool. Let us know; we'll be curious enough to check it out, although we won't often be able (or want) to get every last clan member together for an organized clan war. If you are well and truly hysterical with rage about us "crappy players" riding our ping times to victory, and you want to get us on neutral ground to teach us a lesson, be sneaky and disguise your trap with a friendly request as above. (If you're extra-special nice, we might not send xris.) You can also see the sightings page at this site to find out what other servers we hang out at besides the Mothership.
We welcome any Quake players who want a challenge. Many thanks to all the players so far who have shown up and given us a good fight while being good sports. A moment of silence for the brave 28.8 players who have shown up and given their all. And a big fat raspberry to the sore losers, those who will still persist in crying -- after the nth time that we have quad-nailed them into chum when they charge at us flailing their axe -- "it's not you that's good, it's your connection!" To them we say: Maybe it's not your connection that's bad. Maybe it's you.
Glad to get that off our chest,
Clan 9 From Outer Space